The sun is hot. This might come as news to some of you, but during the summer the temperature outside can get well up into the mid-90s. And when you're loading and setting up a band's worth of gear and PA equipment after you've spent the day on the beach and in the ocean, it can knock you on your ass. Drink plenty of water, and stay in the shade.
Sand gets everywhere. I think this one is pretty self-explanatory. I was still finding it in my pockets days later.
The sun burns. You know. Your skin. And even more when the sun's rays are also bouncing off the water and the sand. The best is when you put on sunblock and you miss a spot. When we played on the beach in June we all got burned - especially on the legs. Some of us got burns on our backs in the shape of European countries. Big ones. Big socialist ones.
When your friend is wearing an American flag swimsuit, it is not inappropriate to salute it. Just don't do it around the kids.
It is very difficult to dance in the sand. Seriously, have ever tried to really dance in the sand? It's hard enough trying to walk in the stuff, let alone throw down some burning moves.
Driving in New Jersey is the worst. The roads are terrible, the traffic is horrendous, you have to go right to go left, and the drivers are ambassadors of the devil himself. (This one is obviously a reinforced truth.)
Cargo shorts were made for carrying beer on the beach. This one must be a verifiable fact. When you're going out for a late night walk on the beach, wear cargo shorts. At the very least you'll be able to bring along two extra beers in addition to the one or two in your hands.
There are places on the Jersey shore that are nothing like the TV show. I mean, I've never seen the show, but I have heard stories and seen things about the poor excuse for commercials (and I even unknowingly passed Snooki in the mall once). In my time at the Jersey shore not once did I run into a Snooki.
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